What My Kids See in My Hands - (and how I'm changing it)

After the kids are in bed and all the "need to's" are checked off for the day, I find solace in curling up under the warm covers and skimming through the never dull land of iPhone.

And while this routine of shutting off my brain is usually delightful, the other night something caught me off guard. I noticed myself quickly putting my phone down anytime I heard little patter of footsteps coming down the hall to tell me he couldn't sleep, or she heard noises in her room. 

Why was I hiding the fact that mommy was simply enjoying browsing Pinterest for tomorrow's outfit, or reviewing the highlights of my sisters big move to another state, or that I was possibly reading my daily devotional?

Why did this seemingly innocent act all of the sudden seem wrong?

Why?

Because the little eyes that stared up at me, looking for comfort, only saw mommy on her phone...again.

They didn't see what could have been in my hands.

The could have seen a bible, with notes and highlights from God's word. 

Instead, they saw the back of my phone.

They could have seen a novel with a beautifully illustrated cover.

Instead, they saw the back of my phone. 

They could have seen a cook book filled with recipes. 

Instead, they saw the back of my phone. 

They could have a seen a magazine, a handwritten letter, a devotional, a... you fill in the blank!

But they didn't. And I felt guilt. 

Guilt that I'm not instilling the importance of putting down our electronics, taking our children's hands in ours, and teaching through things that can be felt, seen, and heard. 

I'm not saying that Pinterest, Instagram, iPads, iPhones... you name it... are all bad. Believe you me, I love them as much as the next person. Heck - how else would I know how long to cook chicken breasts in the oven or how to curl my hair so it looks like beach waves and not curly temple?!

What I am saying is that we need to be aware of what we're teaching our children by our actions. 

These small blessings that we oh so carefully protect from "the real world" learn so much more by what they see and hear inside their own homes, then by what they often actually learn out in the real world. 

I want those hands to feel the books mommy is reading, to see how the bible can become something more than words on a page, and hear laughter from a video that is larger than the tiny screen they hold in their hand. 

I want my children to be an example to other children. I want them to have the tools to navigate this life because their mother and father gave them the tools. 

Tonight, I'll be putting down my phone and dusting off the soft, brown, leather-bound bible with sticky notes and highlighted pages. And when one of my wee bits come into the room because they can't sleep, they will see mommy proudly holding on to the printed pages that fill the book in my hands!